Thursday, July 23, 2009

Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up

Between working my A off and dealing with an over dramatic clown, I managed to find the time to login to facebook yesterday. I made my usual rounds checking status updates and shoutin out to my peeps when I came across a comment on my wall that stopped me in my tracks.

A friend of mine wrote to tell me that one of my ex boyfriends would be getting out of jail soon. This apparently inspired a certain skeleton in my closet to mouth off that "this was a step up from what other men in my past may be up to these days". I of course gave her the stink eye through my computer screen.

At first I thought her comment was tacky and useless. But then I looked at the facts. Unfortunately this little trip down memory lane would end up being more true than it was an attack on my ridiculously big ego. Lets look at the line up shall we...

1) Eric (1st relationship) He now goes by Erica.
2) Josh (High school boyfriend) The jailbird in question.
3) James (brief lapse in judgement) Prison- robbery and possession
4) Andy (Husband) 2 DWI's, Habitual Liar, Completely Retarded.
5) Brett Michaels (Most recent relationship) Smoked his mom.

I immediately forgave her.

In high school I was voted "Most likely to date someone with a prison record" by my journalism class. Seems more and more fitting every time I think about it. Mind you, this is not my entire dating laundry list. I have managed to find a handful of incredibly charming and responsible men that I keep in touch with to this day.

I think by now I have kissed enough frogs, I am ready for a prince. Hell at this point, I would settle for a law abiding citizen.

2 comments:

Jenny Georgio-who said...

Okay, I read this and of course I had to go to your FB wall to see what it said and who said it. WOW!

That's sooo sweet to bring up your exes and how stellar or less than stellar they were. I mean doesn't everyone want to have their bad judgement put on display on a public forum like Facebook?

I had no idea that Andy had two DWIs. From everything on Myspace I thought y'all were a perfect couple and was shocked when you said you were getting divorced!

And do I know Eric/Erica?

Anonymous said...

Are we talkin Montes? Who blasted you? I know I sent you a text asking what people were talking about... dont think I blasted you though.

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